Put Air in Your Own Tires
I’ve become increasingly aware over time of how important it is for each of us to give ourselves what we need. I call this putting air in our own tires. When how we think and feel about ourselves, the job we are doing / how good of a person we are / an employee we are / a spouse we are / a parent we are / human being we are etc. is dependent upon what other people think say and/or do, we are in trouble. You see, other people have their own issues. They have their own personal filters. Everything, and I do mean everything, is processed through their personal filters, aka “their stuff.”
Do I mean that we shouldn’t care what other people think or say? No, that is not what I’m saying. We should care and listen to what people think and say, and pay attention to what they do within reason. Then we use our discernment to decide how much of it to hold within, apply and perhaps even make changes based upon. In other words, decide what resonates with you and respectfully toss the rest.
I’m going to advocate that “needing” someone is not necessarily a good thing regardless the type of relationship. If you are reliant on someone else to keep air in your tires to feel worth, to feel ok, to feel like you belong, that you are doing a good job, that you are a good person etc., learn how to do that for yourself. Develop enough self-esteem, confidence and grace to take care of yourself.
Healthy relationships are good in all areas of life – personal, career, spiritual etc. When I say healthy, I mean that you support each other in your growth. You are respectful of each other.
Integrity, caring, kindness, compassion and empathy are cornerstones of the relationships. Too many people handicap themselves and in some cases are literally broken because everything they think about themselves and how they value themselves is based upon what other people think, say and do.
